


Almost Thought We Could've Been Something

by anotherdeadpoet



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: M/M, neil also deserves happiness, someone please give these boys happiness, todd deserves happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherdeadpoet/pseuds/anotherdeadpoet
Summary: A progression of Neil and Todd's relationship.Title from That's Us by Anson Seabra
Relationships: Todd Anderson & Neil Perry
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Almost Thought We Could've Been Something

**Author's Note:**

> Written in second person with our narrator being Todd and "you" being Neil.

“What’s your brother like, anyway?” You watched me from the windowsill. “I mean, I know he’s a genius, but is he nice?”

“No.”

You laughed. “Wow, someone gets straight to the point.” 

I flipped through my notebook. Pages upon pages of scribbled out words. Mostly poems I decided didn’t deserve to see the light of day. Thoughts that scared me too much to keep looking at. Things you would certainly never read.

“He can’t be too bad, right?” Your tone softened. As much as you liked to push things, you always stopped before they fell off the edge.

The room started to spin a bit. “I guess he’s not terrible.”

“Hey, at least you don’t have to see him that often.”

___________________________________________________________________________

“Nancy Lowell’s cute, isn’t she?” I said, on the way back to our dorm.

One of the books slipped from your arms. “Sure.”

We went to a boys’ school. Nancy Lowell wasn’t real. Sometimes I wonder if you ever figured that out.

____________________________________________________________________________

Charlie came in one day, when you were in the library. I think I was reading something for Keating’s class. 

“Neil’s not here.” I didn’t bother to look up.

“I’m not looking for Neil.”

I stared at him, completely lost. That was the first time Charlie ever wanted to see me alone. My heart started beating faster, although I wasn’t sure why.

“But,” he started, “while we’re on the topic…”

“What?”

“You like him.”

My heart rate, somehow, picked up even more speed. “Huh?”

He sat on your bed. “Come on, Todd. Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not playing dumb.” 

“Please. I’ve known you for three months, and that’s not a lot of time, but it’s more than enough to pick up on the fact that you like Neil.” 

“Charlie, I swear to God-”

“I’m trying to help you, Anderson,” he said.

“With what?”

“Ok, so you are dumb.”

I had all my attention focused on my shoes. Charlie waited a minute. Maybe for dramatic effect. Who ever knows with him?

“Todd. Keep up. He likes you, too.”

____________________________________________________________________________

_ Midsummer  _ was only two days away. An icy breeze ruffled your hair as you recited Puck’s final monologue. When you were done, I clapped and you bowed. We were both grinning like madmen, until you noticed me shivering.

“You’re freezing. We should go inside.”

“No, I’m fine.” I was, in fact, freezing, but I also wanted to stay out there, with you and only you.

“Alright,” you joked, “but I’m going to be pretty pissed if you die of hypothermia.” 

And then you wrapped your arms around me. Our faces were only an inch apart. I started laughing.

“What’s so funny, Anderson?”

“I’ve never seen your face this close up.”

“What’s wrong with my face?” You swatted at my shoulder.

“Nothing.” 

The look on your very-not-wrong face settled. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

____________________________________________________________________________

I forgive you, but I think I’ll always be kind of angry. Your side of the room was completely bare for the rest of the year. At the start of senior year, I got a new roommate. His name was Jack Foster. He started coming to our study group. It was him, Meeks, Pitts, Knox, and me. 

I guess you were really only a brief interval in my life. A short, wonderful sigh of relief before I went back to holding my breath. You were supposed to be around longer. I’m sure of that. My mistake was assuming that what was supposed to happen would be what actually happened.

**Author's Note:**

> Why must all my fic ideas involve Todd suffering?


End file.
